Thursday, May 31, 2012
Gonna be a hectic 2 weeks ahead. I CAN DO THIS! GANBATTE! :D
rambled on 5/31/2012 04:24:00 pm
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Monday, May 28, 2012
I shudder at the thought of what awaits me. Keeping up with all my commitments, tiring myself out for something I had a CHOICE not to do. Everyone calls me mad. It's my only chance for a break and I choose to pack it with random stuff. But then I ask myself, why am I doing this? I want to do this. That's why. If I start school, I won't ever have the chance to do it. I guess I will regret a little for having such a packed schedule but it will be worth the sacrifices :) At least I know I had a fulfilling time before uni starts.
rambled on 5/28/2012 10:50:00 am
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Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Oh gosh... another whacky idea just popped up in my head...
I need to stop creating false hope!
rambled on 5/22/2012 10:07:00 am
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Friday, May 18, 2012
I feel my heart shatter into millions of tiny bits and pieces. The disappointment. The confusion. The irrational thoughts surfacing in my mind is driving me mad. How can I stop it? :(
rambled on 5/18/2012 12:54:00 am
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Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Everyday now is just a torturous wait.
Please, just end my pain... :(
Everyone is already moving on with their lives, making decisions. Yet here I am undecided because I don't even have a choice to decide -.-
rambled on 5/09/2012 08:59:00 am
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Tuesday, May 08, 2012
SHITZ. I will never be free :( I am supposed to be enjoying my break! I am supposed to be able to watch all the dramas I want! What is this crap? Why am I having no free time? More importantly... why do I have so many things to worry about?
There are so many things I want to do but office already drains out 9 hours of my day. I still have extra lessons to go for. I will be starting driving soon and I haven't even started studying for BTT. Each side of me is asking so much I just feel like shutting out all of them. Everyone is also busy with their lives. It's close to impossible to meet up with them for a few hours.
I wish I could stop worrying about them but I just can't. There are too many things on my mind and all these are affecting the way I live my life. Having to worry about numerous things at a time has made me easily irritated, leading to emotional outbursts. Yuck. Some have already noticed it. They know I am pissed. They ask. They care. And that's the worst part. I feel so bad after sending them a text with my lousy attitude when they totally did not deserve it. I feel so so freaking bad and useless. An apology is all I can offer and when the reply reads something like "It's ok, you're going through a rough time. Hope you cheer up soon." it just leaves me drowning in guilt and regret. I totally did not deserve that reply. I deserve a slap in the face. What gave me the right to show my attitude to someone who did not deserve it? My anger should have been kept to myself, not to be thrown to someone else.
I need to buck up. I should stop being such a brat. Argh.
rambled on 5/08/2012 03:55:00 pm
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Thursday, May 03, 2012
Oh please, somebody just help me get rid of my self-loathe.
rambled on 5/03/2012 10:27:00 am
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