Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I feel like a zombie~
haha random rambling from a very bored office girl (I refuse to acknowledge the word lady for I am too young for that :P )
Gah... feeling sleepy, drained and I have absolutely no mood/motivation to do the crap in front of me now. Bleh.
I wanna be home, in my bed... sleeping ToT

痛いよ。。。
痛み痛み、消えてくれるよ！もう！！！　
>o<

rambled on 2/28/2012 10:22:00 am

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Monday, February 27, 2012

As if the stress from the release of the A level results are not enough,I have to face the stress of work as well.
First thing in the morning and I get slammed with a "Hey, the work you did last week had lots of errors". And there I was looking like an idiot. I thought I did a decent job, I thought I could handle it, I thought that it was quite simple. But no, I screwed it up. And this bastard wasn't making things easier by saying things like "oh but never mind I cleared up the mess for you" or "next time I re-teach the process to you again".

Here is the thing.

I FEEL STUPID.

and I hate that feeling.
I just hate it when people think I am incompetent, lousy or just stupid. Yes, I make mistakes, but that doesn't mean I cannot learn from it and improve. Some people are just too unforgiving. They leave a task to someone, if sub-standard work is returned, they label you as lousy and will remember you screwed it up for eternity. I admit I am guilty for having the tendency to label some people like that. But because I hate this feeling and make an effort to change myself. I am not a genius, but I can also safely say I am not dumb. So please just freaking give me a second chance to try again. Don't you bloody throw a "Never mind I will just do it myself" crap in my face. This is why I never like taking up responsibilities. Expectations come. And if you don't meet up to the expectations, you disappoint people. And to those who are nice to say, "Hey, it's okay. You're not dumb, it was just unfortunate that you had a bad day", well, thank you for being so understanding. But the truth is, I screwed up. No matter how nicely you put it, I still screwed up. I have only myself to blame.

With A's results round the corner, I have absolutely no mood to do work. Guess the office people will just have to tolerate this.

rambled on 2/27/2012 10:56:00 am

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Okay.. Seriously...
YOU ARE WORKING TO EARN MONEY FOR YOUR JAPAN TRIP
SO PLEASE STOP LAMENTING TO YOURSELF HOW SHITTY THIS LIFE IS WHEN ALL YOUR OTHER FRIENDS ARE HAPPILY GOING OUT EVERYDAY TYVM.
Phew, that felt better. Now time to go back to work. (damn I feel my back aching like siao)

rambled on 2/22/2012 04:17:00 pm

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Okay so this is the most retarded thing to happen. Got home after chorale prac, needed to go toilet. Since the toilet upstairs is cleaner, I decided to well... Go up. Then realised the maid was washing the toilet... So I went to my parent's toilet. Ooh look! Mom is bathing in the toilet! Got lazy to walk down so I waited in my room TO GO TO THE TOILET. And then... I fell asleep on my bed while waiting to go to the toilet. Slept at around 3... Woke up at 5. Wtshit -.- ?!?! And so now I am feeling abnormally high/hyper and I can't sleep! And since I decided to revive this blog, I shall blog. About this retarded incident. Yay.

Ohh and I have been talking to a few of my friends... Yes we are all anxious about the A level results. Oh nooooo >< I hate this feeling!! But I can't help it! I need to calm down. I need to chill. I need to remain steady. To make a rational decision. But the closer the day approaches, the stronger the fear gets. I have never felt so afraid my life. Not because I am afraid I didn't score well. But afraid of the disappointment I will bring to my parents, my relatives, and to me. I cannot say I have mugged very very hard for this. But I have never studied so hard my entire life and I have never felt so motivated to do well. So that last spur after prelims was all I had to pull me up and I know it wasn't much, compared to the others who started since early 2011. But I do hope it is enough to allow me to reach my goal.

I am hungry... Ok shall sleep now to pacify the growling stomach.

rambled on 2/19/2012 01:31:00 am

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Friday, February 17, 2012

MY BLOG IS NOT DEAD. (at least for now)
Hmm.. yes I have been a lazy blogger, more of busy, but still... lazy.
Realised I should start blogging if not my writing skills will just plummet all the way down before uni even starts -.- Hmm so what has happened and what's happening in my life...

Happened:

- I freaking finished A levels! I managed to survive 4 years in the infamous mugger school that loves grey like it's the only colour (ok red too).

- Went to Kyushu for holiday, this time being a little more adventurous and visiting the more ulu places with my sub-standard Japanese. Still, we managed to get around with decent food and shopping :P

- This sucks... Thanks to A's nothing exciting happened in life. Okay, if you consider prom "happening" then yea. The first time in my life I ever wore something so... girly and dressy, first time I ever got someone do the make-up and hair for me. And I got to admit, it secretly felt shiok. LOL. I know all those who took O levels are like, "Meh, prom again." I HAD NO PROM IN SEC 4. YES MY FAULT FOR GOING TO NJIP LA. But I don't wanna miss another prom! Hmm so just in time for my new DSLR to come into action :) but sadly my photography skills ain't good enough to match it's awesomeness. I'll learn. Mmm but post prom was kind of nicer than prom because there was major cam-whoring at awesome scenic places like clarke quay. Blue lighting looks good with everything omg. And those were the prettiest pictures I've seen of me. So I left prom a happy girl :)

- Oh yea and of course singing~ Been carolling during xmas and honestly, I am a little worried about commitment. So many things I want to do... but so little time (THANKS TO WORK). At least for now, no school to worry about so... heck!

Happening:

- What? Only 4 things happened in between the time span I didn't blog? Well of course! I was MUGGING (I think). Anyway I am currently working and honestly, 1.5 months and already sick of office life. Maybe science really is the right path for me. But then again... office jobs are more stable. Gah. And what am I working for? For...

- TRIP TO JAPAN! Like gosh, has it been almost 3 years before this dream is finally coming true??? No it isn't just a trip to Japan. It's a trip to Japan with the awesome friends who have bothered to remain friends even after I left NH. I never thought we would still be friends, never thought I would still be in contact with anyone from NH after I left. But still, *heart warming moment* I really want to thank these people who have made a difference in my life :) This trip will cost a bomb and I need work my ass off to get the money.

- Considering to go to Vietnam again for OCIP. Oh yes all you people will be thinking for what? You don't need to do CIP anymore what.. no more CIP hours given. Dude please, if your only intention was to do your CIP for the sake of CIP hours, I pity you and your narrow-minded pathetic brain. I just hope things go well for the current leader. If only some idiots would not make things so difficult and freaking let us be.

- Am I into kpop like EVERYONE ELSE? No. Remaining a proud Jpop fan and that's that. But I ain't anti-kpop. Just not my cup of tea. And whoosh! My new favourite group is coming to Singapore. I shall not say the name here because I am tired of people laughing at the name but whatever. Yup, another reason I need money.

- A LEVEL.... results are coming out soon. And boy am I scared. There are just too many "if's" that I just want to heck everything and hide in a hole. If I go overseas... If I get into this course... If I get this result... ROAR. And it doesn't help that everyone has high expectations of me. I don't like this pressure ><

Yay! That was something refreshing. Letting things out really soothes the soul. Now I can go back to work (oops) hehe :P 8 more hours!

rambled on 2/17/2012 09:13:00 am

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